[Harp-L] Define "Crap" (terribly long)

[Mojo Red <harplicks@xxxxxxxxx>]

Hi all you Harp-Lers out there!

I've been out of town for a few weeks, now trying
to catch up on my e-mails, and have really enjoyed
reading the flood of responses that my pot-stirring
friend Chris Michalek spawned with his seemingly
effortless comment. Bravo Chris! :-)

Now that I'm more or less current on the
discussion, I thought I'd toss my own thoughts into
the ring, regardless of their relevance, regardless
of whether you agree with me or not. I'll be civil,
I promise. 

By Chris' definition, most harp players (99.4%, to
be precise) are "crap", including, by his own
admission, the venerable Mr. Michalek. Why? because
they have not studied music theory deeply enough to
be considered a "real musician."

It?s an interesting notion. I'm sure Chris'
definition includes all the hundreds of thousands
of people who lived and made music for hundreds of
thousands of generations before the invention of
music theory. Yup, they ALL sucked. In fact, all
100% of them were crap because they were
un-shcooled  morons, to be sure. 

Personally, I know I'm a crap musician by Chris'
standard, but it really doesn't bother me much. I'm
having to much fun making music to really care.
Yeah, I dabble in music theory and have learned
enough to be able to communicate with those I wish
to make music with (mostly with other unschooled
low-life blues players). But my expertise in music
theory is hugely limited. 

I haven't the foggiest what theories govern
classical chamber music, for instance, or Klezmer
music, or Andean pan flute music, or traditional
East Indian music (I bet ~that~ theory would be
interesting to ferret out). 

Nope, all I know is the rudiments of American Blues
music with a smattering of other popular styles,
but not enough to put me much above a
lower-crappiness level, I'm sure. Yup, I'm crap
allrighty. 

Then there are all those crappy guys who invented
American Jazz, all those ear players who created
all the music we're so busy learning theory about.
Crap-meisters, all of them. 

Have you ever stopped to wonder why music theory is
called music "theory"? 

I'm not sure, but I think a "theory" is something
we invent in order to try to explain a phenomenon
that we don't fully comprehend. But the explanation
can't actually be proven. Like the "Theory of
Relativity," the "Theory of Evolution," "Cosmic
String Theory" or whatever. 

What if "Music Theory" is all hokum and wrong? It's
only "theory" after all. If music theory were
really correct, don't you think we'd all be calling
it the "Music Law" instead, the same way we have
the "Law of Gravity" or the "Law of Diminishing
Returns"? If they could prove it, it would be a
~law~ instead of a theory. 

Hah! Now, I've got that tricky Michalek on the run!
Since music came first... it's the phenomenon the
theory is trying to explain... and since it's not a
law, but a mere theory... then how can someone who
makes great music but who hasn't invested a lot of
time studying something that might after all be
bunk, how can we call that person a "crap
musician"? 

Rather, I propose the idea that someone who has
invested all his time in music theory, but who's
tone sucks, who can't keep time and who has no
originality to their playing... I call ~that~
person a "crap musician" because rather than
investing in the phenomenon itself, spends all his
time investing in the explanation of that
phenomenon. 

And believe me, I've met tons of these creatures
lurking about open mic jams, spouting their
theories to anyone who'll listen. 

I've taught budding harmonica students who insist
on dissecting everything I try to teach them into
quarter, eighth and sixteenth notes... It can be
frustrating. How many harp teachers out there have
had the following conversation during a lesson?

"Was that a flatted third you just played?" 

"Yes, but you got to make it SWING!"

"It sounded like a flatted third."

"I'll play for you it again... There. Yup, it was a
flatted third. But did you hear how I made that
line SWING? I want you to try to play it and give
it some swing."

"I thought so. A flatted third. Let me just make a
quick note here." 

Music is about the music, the sound, the powerful
feelings it can generate. To me, making great music
is what defines a great musician. Period. A great
musician who also has a lot of knowledge in music
theory is a well-educated great musician, not
necessarily a "true musician". 

A great musician who isn't deeply rooted in theory
cannot be crap. He would likely become ~better~
with some solid theory learning, but he's not crap.

Music theory is an awesome tool, and we ALL should
learn as much as we can. It DOES help a LOT to
undersand the mechanics of music, but it will NEVER
make you a great musician unless you're making
great music. And if you lean too heavily on it, but
don't let the music just be music, then theory has
the potential to become an anchor.

I work with words for a living. I had to learn the
mechanics of writing to function as a writer and an
editor. I had to learn the theories of good
writing, the grammar, the spelling and all that
crap. I was never a great student of that stuff,
but I learned what I needed to learn. 

Now, if I spend all my energy making sure each
sentence is perfect, that no participle is dangling
and no verb is improperly conjugated, then nothing
will flow and my words will become wooden. Am I a
better writer because I studied grammar and
writing? Absolutely! 

One of my favorite science fiction authors is the
late Phillip K. Dick. He wrote incredible stories,
some of which have been made into movies you may
recognize: Blade Runner, Total Recall, The Truman
Show and Paycheck to name a few. These movies were
based on his great stories. But Dick was a college
drop out. Was he a crap writer because he didn't
get his degree in English? Hardly. 

Chris Michalek, by MY definition, is a great
musician, regardless of what he knows or doesn't
know about "theory." And I think he knows a good
bit more of it that most of us.

He's also a wonderful Harp-L trouble maker who
sometimes enjoys making us think. Thanks, Chris!

Okay, I'm done.

Harpin' in Colorado,
--Ken M.

The music came first. Theory is an also-ran. 

I totally agree that music theory is a way to
communicate about music.


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