Re: [Harp-L] re: was how many? now encouragement

[Joe and Cass Leone <leone@xxxxxxxx>]

On Sep 11, 2007, at 3:43 PM, Bob Laughlin wrote:

> This is funny. I pretty much knew that once I broached this subject,
> concerning things like "sensitivity", "encouragement", etc..I'd be  
> promoting
> a secondary thread on such items as "stoicism", "tough skin",  
> "brass balls",
> etc.

Hi Bob, one of the reasons why there is such a high rate of drug &  
alcohol abuse as well as suicide among members of the entertainment  
community, is the effects that modern society has with it's instant  
messaging. Some entertainers are sensitive and have a high degree of  
creativity, but will still allow themselves to share themselves with  
the rest of us. Some put on a tough exterior but are lonely and even  
while putting on a tough exterior, they are still flesh & blood.
> There's always this thread in blues music, "Tough Enough", vs., or  
> perhaps
> integrated with "Tore Down", or "Lord Have Mercy".
>
> Truth be known, in real life, I sincerely doubt whether anyone is  
> really
> "Tough Enough" WITHOUT having first been "Tore Down", (almost level  
> to the
> groun',,)
>
> Those who boast of immunity to the sometimes catstrophic nature of  
> life's
> circumstances have simply to wait for the right set to arrive, it  
> would
> seem. No one is excused. No one is passed over, in this sense. We  
> all have
> something, someone, some character building (?) event coming. Some  
> go with
> it, turning negatives into positives, through prayer, or maybe a  
> robust
> support group, while others turn to self-destruction, and yes, some  
> merely
> whine.

Well I had a son murdered Christmas 94, a week later my mother (who  
hadn't previously been ill) died?, and I could easily have turned to  
drugs, alcohol or worse, but that's not where I'm at. Everyone has a  
breaking point.
> I'm not certain what you mean about "building up your convictions and
> fortitude. I don't know of any who have simply "pulled themselves  
> up by
> their own bootstraps". Most of these ended up on skid row, in my  
> estimation.
> It usually takes help.

What I think one DOES find is that they creep back into their own  
little shell (at least for a while) because they don't want any more  
'outside' stimuli. It's a sort of defense mechanism designed to keep  
one from being over loaded. Overloading a person can result in some  
really weird results. THAT's why I don't believe in pushing people's  
buttons. You can never tell what a person just went through.
> As far as "True Grit", John Wayne, etc..remember,,his real name was  
> Marion.
> He was an actor, who lived in relative luxury, compared to the rest  
> of us.
> Same with guys like Bruce Willis, Arnold, Chuck Norris,,

I often thought of having them go through the navy's jungle survival  
school just for grins, you understand. Just to see how they did...  
(cough)
> I remember seeing Chuck Norris arriving in the underground garage  
> at South
> Coast Plaza, here in Orange County. He was in a limo, and had  
> bodyguards.
> Tough enough?

I have a daughter on Mesa Dr. Costa Mesa.
> NObody stands "on their own". INternally, or EXternally, there's  
> always
> gotta be some support. Don't believe me? Do some time in downtown  
> LA, 5th
> and Towne. I did. Lotsa broken men there. "No man is an island".
>
> Better musician? Hell, I wanta be a better person first.
>
> BL
>
> Harp content:
>
> My sister was in professional concert management for 36 years.  
> Classical and
> jazz primarily. Head of promo of fine arts at USC, director of the  
> LA Music
> Center, Exec of Spivey Hall in Atlanta. She's abit of a snob, when  
> it comes
> to harmonica, especially blues. Robert Bonfiglio would have a  
> chance with
> her, but not Robert Laughlin, her own brother,,haha.
>
> My parents sang opera, professionally, back in the 30's and 40's,  
> in New
> York, and overseas, for the USO just after WW2 ended in the Pacific.
>
> Whenever I whip out my harp, in the presence of my family, I get these
> looks,,nice, pleasant, sympathetic smiles,,as if to say,,"We  
> tolerate you,
> because you're one of us, in a biological sense, but you could have  
> been a
> concert cellist, dear."
>
> Elitists to the core.
>
> In playing the diatonic harmonica, I definitely made the statement,
> unconsciously perhaps, that I was siding against elitism, and  
> incorporating
> something of "the common people", "the street", even "the negroes",,,
>
> I'm still a family member,,but it's always with an explanation.
>
> Even if I were ever to become "successful" in a musical sense (In all
> actuality, I feel "success" whenever I eke out something wonderful  
> from my
> little tin sandwich), it would still be on a lower rung,  
> professionally,
> from what my parents and my sister achieved. So What. My sister's a  
> wreck,
> burned out on music and musicians to a large extent, and emotionally
> fragile, living on anti-depressants. The only thing she DOES have  
> going for
> her is a decent retirement, in Washington State, and the ability to  
> travel
> frequently. Not sure which I'd
> pick,,money,,happiness,,money,,happiness,,money,,happiness,,
>
> Well,,since I don't have much money,,
>
> It's,,,happiness!
>
> Now about the money,,