Re: [Harp-L] Gifted Players, Who I Play For (fjm Questions)

Will Vogtman <will_vogtman@xxxxxxxxx> · Wed, 20 Dec 2006 03:02:56 -0800 (PST)

You want complete strangers in a casual situation to come up to you 
after a performance and compliment you correctly? 

  No.  I don't expect anyone to compliment me or criticize me in any certain way.  I do enjoy and appreciate compliments.  However, when I an completely honest with myself, I cannot hide from my gut-level feelings.  As with many things in my life, my heart and my head don't match.

  They're supposed to perceive the work and effort that went into creating the music? 

  No.  I'm just irritated by the masses of our country selling themselves short in so many ways.  My musical point here is that the people could play if they wanted to play.  It's just a matter of work.

  For me, this attitude has deeper roots.  Ever since I can remember, people have been manipulating me by telling my how smart I am.  

  "Will, why don't you do this for me because you're so smart."  Litterally translated, "Will, why don't you do this for me because I'm too lazy."

  I don't outwardly display this at a gig.  I make sure this all stays in check.  But it does rear it's ugly head inside my head.

  If you're playing for you then why bother to play out at all? 

  When I play infront of a crowd, in the moment, I must be 100% focussed on my playing.  When I am actually playing, 100% emotionally invested in what I am doing, it is one of the only times I can actually find true peace in my life.  When I play live and when I sleep are the only two times I am truly at peace.  It is quite self-serving, but I need it.

  You've given them a gift. Music, a performance. If it's a gift freely given then 
why are there strings attached? 

  It's my problem, not theirs.  I make sure that I don't allow my audience to suffer from the crap in my head.  I save that for my family and band-mates.  .

  Again, if my music was my primary source of income, I would feel much differently.  As of now, it's a hobby that pays for itself.  I wish it was more, but it can't be for me right now.

  If I could make a living playing nothing but Mustang Sally, I'd jump at the chance.  I'd even try to play the same solo the same way every night.  I would have no problem "selling out" to make a living in music--it would be a step closer to a dream.  As for now, music is part of my therapy.  

  I DO treat my audience with respect.  I just thought that revealing my inner a$$h01e might start an interesting thread.  (Looks like we got a good start!  Keep it coming!)

http://www.channelcatsbluesband.20m.com
http://www.cdbaby.com/willvogtman
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