Re: [Harp-L] Gifted Players, Who I Play For

["John Kerkhoven" <solo_danswer@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

I think what fjm says in his post applies to just about anything a person
does that takes some time, dedication, effort -- in respect of it not
mattering whether or not others percieve what went into it. It's nice if
they do, but even at that, is it always nice? I mean if everyone who ever
complimented you on your music understood exactly what went into it you
might end up feeling "Hey, just listen and enjoy." In fact, as we all know
for harp playing or anything else, it's rare if anyone ever "gets it" and
it's best -- I think -- taken as a gift if someone does.

I also think there are many reasons for playing (or pursuing whatever else
you might be pursuing). And I think it's good to ask yourself (oneself if
you prefer, in case I'm sounding overbearing) what your reasons are. This is
not about justification, but about having some understanding of what you are
up to.

Here's a rough and dirty way this might play itself out. I take my music out
into the world at whatever venue I can get to play at because I just love to
play, because I have a musical vision I think the world must get to know,
because I want to get out of the house and don't like mingling, because I
want to pick up, because I want attention, because I want to make lots of
money, because knowing I won't make lots of money, I figure I might (one
day) be able to make enough to pay for new harps along the way, and knowing
that my musical vision isn't anything to write home about, it might be
something that, however insignificant in the grand scheme of things is
sufficiently interesting to want to develop such as I am able to, and hey,
what do you know, there are other musicians out there, and whoa, do I really
want to put as much time and effort into music as they do? and gee, what am
I doing here anyway, I suck, no wait, I don't suck, I like to play music,
and I just learned a new (new to me) Sonny Boy Williamson lick and I'm
starting to get a bit of fluidity into my playing and it's nice to share
some music along the way when I can without imposing it on others, and every
now and then you find yourself somewhere and things click and hot damn that
was fun.....

I'm going to hazard a guess that I'm not the only one on the list for whom
the harp isn't my priority in life, but among my priorities. In my case, I
was playing at some open mics and jams on and off for about a year and
stopped a few months back. All sorts of reasons for that. Partly I'm getting
better and I wasn't getting enough out of the jams and open mics any more, I
can stand to do some woodshedding, I'd like to hook up with a guitar player
or some other musicians, there have been other things requiring my time and
attention, and so forth. My case is not special. Many things play off each
other.

I, like many, like to be "on" if not "spot on" when I play. But my skill is
still shy of that on good days. And _there's_ the internal critic rearing
its head. I'm not in any way immune to that.

I keep learning from this list, I do keep improving (however slowly), and
I'm not entirely sure where I'm at with the harp these days, and I might
just plod on quietly while other things sort themselves out, or while I sort
other things out. I'm playing more for family and friends -- or more
confidently and easily, which in my case is a nice thing since a lot of
those near and dear to me are not much up on harp or the blues (and gospel,
and jazz, and all that other good stuff you can play on a harp) and it is
proving to be a way of sharing something with them. That's one more reason
to play. Speaking for myself.

Happy harpin' holidays,

John
Montreal


> You want complete strangers in a casual situation to come up to you
> after a performance and compliment you correctly?  They're supposed to
> perceive the work and effort that went into creating the music?  If
> you're playing for you then why bother to play out at all?  You've given
> them a gift.  Music, a performance.  [snip]