RE: [Harp-L] asking to sit in

["Allen Stratyner" <astratyner@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

      Bob said - So the next time someone, who perhaps doesn't know better,
asks to sit in consider that
first they love the music as much as you and second maybe the guy can really
play.

      Bob, most guys who can really play are not hung up on sitting in. They
are so secure in their ability to play that they'd rather listen to another
master player do his/her thing, and possibly even learn something new.

     I have never heard you play so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt,
and assume you are a talented player.
     However I can tell you that in most cases It's the drunks and self
deluded dilatants that have the overwhelming need to pester the band about
playing on stage.            My best,
                                                           Allen

-----Original Message-----
From: harp-l-bounces@xxxxxxxxxx [mailto:harp-l-bounces@xxxxxxxxxx]On
Behalf Of Bob Cohen
Sent: Friday, March 18, 2005 5:48 PM
To: harp-l@xxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: [Harp-L] asking to sit in


Bob Maglinte wrote:

> Well said, and a 3rd reason is also based on the situation with the
> contract because there are tons of club owners who do not want anybody
> sitting in with a national act unless it is someone who is very well
> known on a national level, and not just locally.

I get it.  To put the points made thus far in more objective language,
in general it's considered bad manners to ask to sit in. When it's a
National Act it's the height of poor manners.  This was the thing I was
looking to understand, as I am, to my core, a gentleman.  And of course,
there are legal issues as well as ego issues.  Makes sense.  Thanks for
the support here.  I've avoided making an ass out of myself, at least
for tonight.  :-)

***

Here's some food for though, as this thread seems to have struck a nerve
among some, there are people out there whom no one has ever heard of,
who can deliver the goods but who have chosen sleep and middle-class
comforts over playing in smoky bars until 2:00am for $50 to $75 a gig.
And who aren't interested in preforming for drunken, indifferent
audiences whose priorities are get drunk, get laid, and make it home
without getting a DUI/OUI, and oh yeah there's a blues band at the bar .
. . .

So now it's my turn to flash some ego ;-)  Hey we've all got one,
right.  Am I in that category?  Don't know.  But whenever I play, where
ever I play, people respond positively.

In fact the best gig I ever played was last year at the Providence Zen
Center last April.  They do an annual concert that that's part of their
Buddha's birthday celebration.  One of the monks is an AMAZING guitar
player from the West Coast with an extraordinary wealth of experience
and depth of musicianship.  In fact he was friends with Charley Beaty
back in the day.  Though he had to quit the high life because he had too
much fun.  He and I teamed up for a harp/guitar thing that was nothing
short of amazing.  The coolest part was the audience and the venue.  The
lights were on.  They were attentive.  Their minds and ears were open
for the magic that's at the heart of every good song.  IMHO, you've
never played until you've performed in front of a sober audience that
has come just to listen to you.  All of this to say, talent comes from
many places and dues get paid in may different ways.  So the next time
someone, who perhaps doesn't know better, asks to sit in consider that
first they love the music as much as you and second maybe the guy can
really play.

Bob Cohen
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