Re: [Harp-L] Asking to sit in

[Ken Deifik <kenneth.d@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Back in the 70's in NYC it was very bad form to ask to sit in.  It wouldn't 
have occurred to me to ask.  Beyond that, the real turn on was when someone 
on stage had heard of me or seen me perform, but was otherwise a stranger, 
asked me if I'd brought my harps.

But when I moved to Nashville my first friends urged me to ask to sit in at 
the tonks we were at just about every night of the week.  Nobody ever 
turned me down, ever.  That was my musical finishing school.

In Nashville the great turn on was the welcoming look on the face of 
musicians when they saw me come in.  I hope you've all gotten that look.

When I moved to LA 30 years ago I asked a few people who would know, and 
they told me that asking strangers if you could sit in wasn't good 
form.  There were some high-quality jams with studio musicians, but I never 
seemed to get anywhere near those.  Most LA studio musician gigs that I've 
seen were in some ways amazing and in some ways kind of boring, as there 
was an astonishing amount of chopsmanship on display, and that only goes so 
far.

The few times I have sat in out here it was because it was arranged for 
beforehand.  But frankly I do not like to go to shows and clubs where it's 
likely that people will sit in, because I go to a show to hear who I am 
going to hear, and not to hear loose, sittin' in-type arrangements, which 
are of no inherent musical interest by themselves.  All too often the 
sitter-inners are either show-offs (with nothing really to show off) or 
musicians who are just learning to play - and those people SHOULD be 
sitting in and learning their craft.  Just not on my time.

When I was in Nashville I loved going to tonks where all the music was 
loose.  It's a fantastic learning experience for younger players, and I 
can't recommend sittin' in, anywhere, enough.

I hope you live in a town where sittin' in is as acceptible as it was in 
Nashville 35 years ago.

Back in the swing era, sitting in had a real edge of danger.  If someone 
sat in and blew you off the stage, you might as well just go home because 
they had just gotten your gig.  And it was considered totally weak-ass to 
not let people sit in, an admission that you were scared of 'em.  It was a 
tremendous incentive to keep getting better, especially when everybody else 
was getting better all the time too.

I used to sit in with a certain band alot in the early 70's, guys I 
loved.  This is going to sound awful, but when I sat in the clubs would 
come alive.  I was just better at getting a crowd going than their lead 
guy.  I didn't think of it this way, but they were a great warmup band for me.

One day their manager called me up and offered to put a band together 
behind me and get me work.  I did not like their manager personally, so I 
turned him down.

I was a very, very stupid young man.

This would be true even IF that manager hadn't gone on to be a very serious 
cat in the music business.  But he did.

If you are or get so good that when you sit in people wind up offering you 
backing, just say yes.

K