[Harp-L] Re: ERIFAHS whiskey test - Harmonica Abuse!

[David Fertig <drfertig@xxxxxxxxx>]

Dr. Payne,

As chief investigator for the Society for Prevention of Reckless Abuse of Harmonicas I must take issue with your test and results, culminating in the slow, cruel death of a harmonica - and on a personal note, the fruitless dissipation of whiskey.

My own guilt from harmonica abuse drives me, I concede.  The countless harps I (gasp!) RUINED by a brief but temporarily cleaning soak and swish in whatever whiskey or other booze I could cadge. Oh, my...   Sure, they'd play better for a while with their gunk slightly washed away, but like a sad wino on the street, each drink for the harmonica led inexorably to the need for more, until finally their teeth were sticking out like a British bobby's, and they'd cut anyone who tried to kiss-em.  

Of course this led me to all sorts of monstrous, vengeful abuses: I've tied 'em to railroad tracks to be obliterated, madly bent them like forsaken Gumbies until they could no longer scream, and sometimes simply hurled them into various waiting rooms, baby carriages and paddy wagons.  Oh!  The horrors I've caused!    

LIke S.Carolina Governor Sanford, I apologize for my past transgressions and seek forgiveness, and unlike Sanford, I actually mean it. I have not abused a harmonica since the 70's, except by playing it!

But even in my darkest days, I never, EVER, left one soak for fifteen minutes, let alone left a cruelly soaked harp unplayed for months at a time.  Oh, the loneliness and longing for human touch it must have felt all those weeks of abandonment.  I beg of you, Doctor (aptly named) Payne, join me and cease your horrible, cruel experiments!  

-Dave "Sorry, guv!" Fertig


--- On Thu, 6/25/09, harp-l-request@xxxxxxxxxx <harp-l-request@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Forwarded Message: [Harp-L] ERIFAHS whiskey test preliminary results released to public [Harp-L] ERIFAHS whiskey test preliminary results released to public
        	Thursday, June 25, 2009 11:46 AM
        	
            
            
            From: 
            "David Payne" <dmatthew@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
            	
            	
            	
        	To: 
        	"Harp L Harp L" <harp-l@xxxxxxxxxx>
                A
while back, I said The Elk River Institute for Advanced Harmonica
Studies  would test the historical feasibility of soaking a harmonica
in whiskey, as the old timers did, just to see how good an option it
was back in the day. 

Well, I soaked one, left a control, pre
2006 unsealed nailed Seydel Solist, in some Early Times for 15 minutes.
After sitting on a shelf for a couple months, the control is OK. The
whiskey soaked reedplates are loose on the comb, the comb swelled
enough that it pushed the nails out and it leaks. 

So round 1
goes to not soaking in whiskey. We'll see what happens when I get time
to drive the nails in and see what we have. The Institute has
additional nailed Solists to use to in further experiments, such as
playing regularly after soaking, etc. 
This is important stuff we're doing and junk.
Dave

www.elkriverharmonicas.com