[Harp-L] Endorsement?

[Jim Adams <tusker23@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Dear Mr Pimp,

 

We here at Autoharper Worldwide Conglomerate Inc. were delighted to read your open offer 

in which you indicate your willingness to endorse various products.

 

Of particular appeal to us is your claim that "I am opportunistic, simple-minded and cheap", which leads us to believe that you are a perfect candidate for our organisation, and will fit in well with our stable of world-famous endorsers. (Legalities preclude our naming any of them at the moment, but we can say that quite a few of them enjoy 'having a toot' on a harmonica.)

 

Our line of product caters to the music industry (among others), and we are actively seeking artistes with 'connections' in that area -- particularly within larger and smaller gigs.

Renumeration is in the form of percentage-based commission on sales, and the product can be delivered directly to you, or if you prefer, you can pick it up at our head office here in Columbia. Naturally if you pick it up from our head office and arrange your own transportation and distribution channels, you can take advantage of our very generous discount rates.

 

You may also wish to take advantage of this week's "Two kilos for one" special which ends soon.

Hurry and sign up now, while exclusive territories are still available in your area 

yours sincerely,

 

Carlos Escobar,

President and CEO

Autoharper Worldwide Conglomerate Inc.

Medellin, Columbia


 
--Forwarded Message Attachment--
From: drfertig@xxxxxxxxx
Subject: [Harp-L] I endorse . . .
Date: Fri, 19 Jun 2009 12:36:27 -0700
To: harp-l@xxxxxxxxxx

I "endorse" Hohner Special 20s, Harpgear Amps, Tom Austin's FrankenMics, Kinder AFB+, AKG Wireless, Kawai Keyboards, Cosmic Percussion congas, any Gigondas wines, Powers Irish Whiskey, and Trader Joe's Markets. 
 
Now, will any of you offer me a deal for my endorsement?
 
And I extend my best wishes to my good friends (at) Fender, Seydel, Hering, Huang, B. Harrison, Tim Moyer, Ben Bouman, Alamo, Sunn & Nomad amps, Beaulieu Vineyards, Jameson's Whiskey, Vons and Hows groceries, as well as all those of you whose products I don't have but probably should:   While I appreciate your products and think they're often better than your competition, I am opportunistic, simple-minded and cheap, thus I can't promise to always use your product at my larger gigs (or my smaller ones, depending on our arrangements.) 
 
But I am open to negotiations.  Now, let's make a deal! 
 
-Dave "Will Pimp for Swag" Fertig
 


 
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