[Harp-L] Vicarious enjoyments

["Bob Laughlin" <rlaughlin@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

I'm not practiced at advertising. I've never been self-employed, so I've never had to do it, since my jobs, up til now, for the past twenty-five years have been in the area of technical know-how, and working for either "the State", or "the City". The only time I had to really put on a sales personality, was in the interview, which I always seemed to nail. Dressed nicely, outgoing, friendly, cooperative personality, smart answers,,etc.

I really grew up thinking that I would never have to "sell myself" to the world, or at least shouldn't have to. I think it came from those around me telling me how intelligent and talented I was, and that I would be "so popular". It gave me the impression that I didn't, or shouldn't really have to try. My grades were good, up to that point at least, and life seemed a real "cake-walk".

Then came the real world. Jobs, interviews, etc.

Once I got the job, it was just a job. Go out, fix things. Not a whole lot of interaction with people was required. In fact, as an electrician, you often needed to ask people kindly to give you some time alone with your wires, rather than hover over you, hang around you, or otherwise try to engage you in conversation. It's a matter of safety. Distractions can kill. You always have to assume the worst could happen, and "err on the side of caution".

Trying to engage people in an entertainment sense has always been an outlet, and a balance to this other, "enclosed" side of my life. In a sense, I've been a "closet entertainer", for the most part, I've typically been too self-concious to actually approach entertaining as a profession, but talented enough to want to try it anyway. Having inherited a few musical skills from my parents, both professional singers, I've always been a musician, though never a singer. But my "performances" have always been informal, on the street, in the elevator, in the truck while traveling,,etc. If I hadn't had the gift of self-restraint, along with a bit of good taste, I may have become the world's greatest gusser. Being as it were, there was no great investment in equipment, clothing, or the idea of "failure". In a way, I felt that people who make money playing music were in some way being "dishonest", since it wasn't that difficult to do, and in fact, looked like a lot of fun. Why should someone get paid for having fun? Go figure.

So,,I've retired now, got my pension, and am thinking about things to do,,

Now, along with this thread on "stage presence", and "charisma", I'm beginning to think about what performing, and by association, advertising is all about. 

Someone recently told me to think of advertising this way: When you are looking for something, how do YOU do it, where do YOU look? If you're going to look for an electrician, how do you find one? Think of things in reverse, in other words. In thinking of how to advertise, just think in reverse. What do YOU do when looking for something? What attracts YOUR attention?

As to performing, entertaining, what is it that you would like to see on a stage? Imagine. What kind of harmonica player not only gets you off with his playing skills, but also gives you a vicarious thrill, or positive stimulus of some kind?

People watch things like television, movies, entertainers, to experience something VICARIOUSLY, or "through someone else", as the medium. They may envy the performer in some way, or enjoy seeing someone doing something that they may not be able, at this point, or at any point in their lives, to do, but wish they could. In a way, you're fulfilling their dreams, or enabling, facilitating their enjoyment of both the sound AND the FEEL of music that otherwise would be inaccessible to them, if you weren't there doing it in their stead.

For some, they want to see the guy jumping off the speakers, doing athletics, walking tables, getting crazy in a physical way. To others, that guy is just making an ass of himself. Some people want to see, or see themselves, as the quiet, stationary player, like, for instance, Derek Trucks, the slide guitarist. His seemingly motionless demeanor speaks volumes in his playing alone.

"Whatever floats your boat", as long as YOU're having fun.

That's another thing. The audience may not be having any fun at all, after having a hard day, a difficult week, or a bad year, or even a miserable life. You may just be the one to "save" that person through your music. 

Music can reach down to the depths of a person's soul, rescuing them from despair, or at least making them feel that they're not alone. That's what it does for me. At its' best, it makes me feel that someone else out there is feeling what I'm feeling. At times, when I'm listening to music, I have the thought, "That's exactly how my soul would play it, if it could". It's like a chord, sympathetically responding in the depths of my soul. It bridges that "great divide", and crosses the gap between existential loneliness, and the feeling of belonging. When I listen to music written by a great composer, or played by a skillful and sensitive musician, or watch a movie that moves me in a special way, even to tears, I re-discover my own humanity, and my ability to feel, reminding me that I have worth as a person. I have a vicarious experience, bringing relief, and a sense of both joy and sadness, that the world hasn't yet completely gone to hell, and that life is still worth living. Someone "knows", and that someone made a statement, either through film, or music, or acting, or whatever they did, and it reached me. We skate through life too often, without experiencing it. Something's got to grab us at times, and get us to feel things. In my own life, movies, photography, and music have served that purpose at times, when nothing else could.

People visit the bar, the theater, the living room couch, to escape, or to experience something through another, an actor, a performer, someone who can feel something they also want to feel, to re-affirm their own sense of being human, and worthwhile. They want to have fun, and they also want to grieve, in some way, for the thoughtlessness and insensitivity in the world. They want to cheer inwardly when something wonderful, something extraordinary happens, for somebody. It's vicarious, and unless, as an entertainer, an actor, a musician, had brought it to them, putting it on display, they might never have had it.

BL