[Harp-L] Courage and self-criticism

[dennis moriarty <dmoriarty@xxxxxxxxxx>]

Being my own best friend musically- which would include letting in  
50% of the compliments I receive from others upon hearing me- has  
always seemed a near impossibility. I like to use expressions like  
"the poverty of my talent" when talking to other musicians. One  
guitarist friend of mine who I promise you is terrific on his dark  
sounding hollow-body and I joke about getting a music therapist. In  
effect, as a person who years ago used to drink his courage to get on  
stage and no longer does, getting up there in spite of my musical  
esteem issues has been transformative. It's always been a relative  
thing for me too. I did it with bodybuilding, painting, writing,  
verbal intelligence. Comparing myself to "superiors". What a damned  
thief this esteem deficit has been. And me a hospice nurse  
specializing in mortality. One stage. One hopefully long performance.  
As platitudinous as this all sounds I'm just glad I'm still doing it.  
With the crappy band I'm in rehearsals with. And with all the  
dynamite people that invite me up. d
http://www.myspace.com/blowintheblues