[Harp-L] Courage and self-criticism

["Steve Shaw" <moorcot@xxxxxxx>]

I saw this post (which I've left anonymous) on a forum devoted to 
traditional Irish music.  The writer is a fiddle player but I thought that 
what she has to say is relevant to players of any instrument who feel 
nervous and/or inadequate about taking that big jump into "getting out there 
and doing it."  As a late starter myself, who was very much going it alone 
when I started to air my very limited talents in public, I found myself 
sharing her sentiments fully.  So here goes:

[QUOTE] I used to think the "nerves are fueled by ego" thing was ridiculous, 
too. I suck! How can I have an ego? Until I really started thinking about 
it. What was I thinking when I got nervous playing out? I was thinking 
something along the lines of..."oh no, I screwed up, again. Everyone's 
watching ME, hearing ME screw up oh no I forgot the tune in the middle again 
everyone's looking at ME ME ME!!! I AM A SCREWUP!! They'll be talking about 
ME being a p*ss poor player for years!". Was I even *listening* to the other 
players? Hell no. I was totally caught up in ME and my bad playing. The 
sessions were all about ME. I'm not saying I don't get nervous anymore or 
that my bow doesn't bounce all over sometimes (esp. at gigs). But once I 
realized how self-absorbed I was, I was able to work on not being that way 
so much. It's helped my playing immensely and sure has made playing out more 
fun. I can listen to other players and even respond sometimes now. A musical 
conversation sometimes ensues, instead of an ego and fear fueled meltdown. 
It's just music, after all. And there are plenty of stellar musicians 
already out there. One more amateur with shaky technique won't sink the 
boat.

Just my experience. I've only been playing 12 years and in the last year 
have seen real progress, in part because of the above realization. [UNQUOTE]


I like it!

Steve


http://mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk/trad_irish_harmonica
HEAR my CD clips: http://www.gjk2.com/steveshaw/cd.htm

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