[Harp-L] Courage and self-criticism



I saw this post (which I've left anonymous) on a forum devoted to traditional Irish music. The writer is a fiddle player but I thought that what she has to say is relevant to players of any instrument who feel nervous and/or inadequate about taking that big jump into "getting out there and doing it." As a late starter myself, who was very much going it alone when I started to air my very limited talents in public, I found myself sharing her sentiments fully. So here goes:

[QUOTE] I used to think the "nerves are fueled by ego" thing was ridiculous, too. I suck! How can I have an ego? Until I really started thinking about it. What was I thinking when I got nervous playing out? I was thinking something along the lines of..."oh no, I screwed up, again. Everyone's watching ME, hearing ME screw up oh no I forgot the tune in the middle again everyone's looking at ME ME ME!!! I AM A SCREWUP!! They'll be talking about ME being a p*ss poor player for years!". Was I even *listening* to the other players? Hell no. I was totally caught up in ME and my bad playing. The sessions were all about ME. I'm not saying I don't get nervous anymore or that my bow doesn't bounce all over sometimes (esp. at gigs). But once I realized how self-absorbed I was, I was able to work on not being that way so much. It's helped my playing immensely and sure has made playing out more fun. I can listen to other players and even respond sometimes now. A musical conversation sometimes ensues, instead of an ego and fear fueled meltdown. It's just music, after all. And there are plenty of stellar musicians already out there. One more amateur with shaky technique won't sink the boat.

Just my experience. I've only been playing 12 years and in the last year have seen real progress, in part because of the above realization. [UNQUOTE]


I like it!


Steve


http://mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk/trad_irish_harmonica HEAR my CD clips: http://www.gjk2.com/steveshaw/cd.htm

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