[Harp-L] How do you break through a wall?

[Will Vogtman <will_vogtman@xxxxxxxxx>]

Hey folks.
   
  I'm presently in the middle of a personal reinvention.  I haven't played a gig in a few months--if I am playing out regularly, I play safe and I don't improve.  
   
  In terms of public performance, I plan on taking a year or more off.
   
  I do have a few clear goals in mind.  In the past 3-4 months, I have seen the best of the people whom I'd like to emulate.  I have always know that I am the big fish in a mud puddle.  However, I didn't realize how small my mud puddle is.  
   
  My problem--my goals are too big.   They are so big that they are imobilizing.  No matter how I try to break it down, I feel like I'm starting too late in life, have too many family restrictions, etc.  I know that all these obstacles can be overcome, I just don't feel it is a possible thing.  
   
  I have always had trouble ballancing the Apollonian with the Dionysian.  I usually have an overubandunce of one or the other.
   
  Anyhow . . . 
   
  At the conclusion of my hiatus, I want to be able to:
   
  1.  Sight read for harmonica, sax, and bass.
  2.  Overbend harmonica and overblow sax (altissimo).
  3.  Play any given diatonic in all 12 keys.
  4.  Play as if the harmonica is my own voice--no "interface thought" between mind and harp.
   
  This seems 10-20 years away from where I am now.  I know it's not.
   
  I am currently at an impass.  I can't seem to start practicing.   
   
  How do you break through a wall?