RE: [Harp-L] Opinion Pecking Order

["John Balding" <John.Balding@xxxxxxxxx>]

Being a relative newcomer, I began by restricting my posts to subjects which I felt that I actually knew something about: amplifier electronics, and equipment or techniques which I have personally used. As time went by, I started to get more adventurous, getting involved in the more opinionated discussions, rather than limit myself to the purely factual ones. Well, everything was going along swimmingly until I typed before I thought one day, and stated an opinion in the form of a "bet". In the spirit of the Brad Kava article, a sentence was extracted from that post and used in many a reply from the pundits herein. I got to work, fired up my e-mail, bent over, and took it hard from about 10 of the more vocal list members. Needless to say, I was embarrassed. Moreover, I was extremely taken aback as to the vicious way that my proposition was rebutted. It wasn't the fact that my opinion was challenged, but the way it was challenged. I felt like some poor slob who just got chewed out by his wife in the grocery line; everybody pointing and laughing. 
I sat and typed what I thought would be my goodbye Harp-L letter. I put a lot of thought into that letter. It took me two days to compose. I wanted to explain myself completely, and let the list "elders" know how they made me, and possibly others in the past, feel.
As fate would have it, by the time I had the letter ready to make its grand entrance, the curtains had been drawn on the thread, and a new circus was in town. Over the next few days, about five of the ten members who had throttled me, had their posts absolutely torn to shreds by the remaining five. And, vice versa over the next few days after that. That was when I began to realize what was going on here.
Sure, there is an informal pecking order, or, as I put it in my letter: "a voluntary caste system firmly in place." All forums and message boards have contributors who range from the completely naïve to the totally arrogant. Nothing new there. I think what I learned is that this is basically a bunch of players sitting in a living room, consuming their libation of choice, shootin' the bull and swapping information. Except, in this case, it is done in writing, and not verbally. 
Without voice inflection and facial expressions, we are left to our own devices to determine the posture of the person rebutting our statement or opinion. People have a natural tendency to defend themselves. So, when a post is construed as offensive, the reply is defensive by nature. Some take it in stride, some come out slashing.
When all was said and done, I realized that I had survived my initiation by fire. No one was holding it against me. No one was degrading me off-list. And my future posts and replies were met with the same courtesy and open mind that any new topic from any list member would receive.

The only advice I could offer would be:

1. Refrain from using words of absolution. This means words like "best", "most", "better than", "only", "never", "always", etc. unless you can provide verifiable data to support your claim or statement. These are hot-button words, and almost always trigger a rebuttal.
2. Never state an opinion as a fact. If you do throw a line out such as "I'll bet that X has sold more than Y", or "overblows are easy to play", be prepared to support that claim. You will most likely be called on it.
3. Read what you are about to post two times before you click "send". In the rush to be the first to reply, or to appear the most knowledgeable with our expedient and/or detailed replies, we sometimes overlook not only some small details of what was posted, but some small details of what we post as well.  Either oversight can lead to embarrassment if your hand is called.
4. Consider the source. Those with little experience or knowledge will often exhibit that fact voluntarily or involuntarily within the context of their questions or posts. Those with substantial subject knowledge should grasp this, and consider the source. And consider the response; if one is indeed warranted. If so: Are you the one bringing someone to the stock for public humiliation, or the one bringing cool water and a key? Are you using your experience as a guidepost or a whipping post?
5. Last but not least, remember that as much as the harmonica is a common interest and a shared love between all of us, there is still a human being blowing into that harp. A harp can be broken down and rebuilt to suit our style. Humans can't. Accept who is out there, and they will accept you in return. 

So, to all the Harp-Lurkers: Bring out your dead! 

John Balding

-----Original Message-----
From: harp-l-bounces@xxxxxxxxxx [mailto:harp-l-bounces@xxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Bill Hines
Sent: Wednesday, September 06, 2006 3:48 PM
To: harp-l@xxxxxxxxxx
Subject: RE: [Harp-L] Opinion Pecking Order

I agree with Larry. I think that because we have so many strong and opinionated players here, it intimidates folks that are beginner/intermediate from asking questions. Shouldn't be that way. When folks ask these questions, then the legions of other beginner/intermediate lurkers learn from the answers. And this is not to say that the strong and opinionated players should be any less so either. 

I've never seen anyone here be rude to someone that asked a rookie question, although as we see sometimes the luminaries are rude to each other, haha (it's all about passion...). So please folks come on out of the woodwork. I know you're out there because AFAIK harp-l has the largest and most active membership of any harp discussion list, yet I see these types of questions on the other ones I've stopped by, so it's odd to not see more of them here.

Bill Hines


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