Re: [Harp-L] sitting in

[Will Vogtman <will_vogtman@xxxxxxxxx>]

I almost never ask to sit in.  
   
  The exception . . . .
  Some nights, I just need to play to get rid of an emotional storm.  In that case, I try to find some folks I know locally and explain the need to play.  These folks are usually friends by association, so I don't really consider this sitting in.
   
  At all other times, I wait to be ASKED to sit in.  I have, on occasion, started conversations with performers fishing for the invitation (asking intelligent musical questions, or providing musically intelligent compliments--nothing more explicit).  But, if the invitation does not come, I drop it.  
   
  Personally, I find it rude to ask.  I don't impose this on others.  I am not offended when people ask to sit in.
   
  Most of the time, when I do sit in, it happens like this . . . .
   
  Someone in the crowd recognizes me and asks me if I have my harps with me.  Then, that person (NOT at my suggestion) tells the band about me.  If the band asks, I step up and play.  At that point, I usually cut loose.  If the band doesn't ask, it wasn't meant to be.
   
  I have held back on a few occasions when I knew for a fact that I would/could outshine the host band.  For example, I sat in with a band of local high school students twice this summer.  (I'm a math teacher by day.)  The experience was better than money can buy.  The kids were flattered that I even showed up.  The parents were blown away.  I did just enough to teach a little--not embarrass.  I've had a few other similar experiences i which I held back.  
   
  Sitting in is delicate process.  Neither party needs to be offended or hurt.  In order for this to happen, the host band needs to be provided with a polite way to refuse.  
   
  Many may say that this approach lacks balls.  I try very hard not to have a need to exert my manhood in such a way.  I have been too pushy/arrogant on two occasions that I can recall--once out of pure ignorance (I really thought I was in a room of players much better than me),  once after a serious conference with Mr. Daniels.  On both occasions, I out shined many of my peers.  On both occasions, I regretted my actions within hours.  
   
  Furthermore, I have already participated in activities that require said balls (football, track, wrestling).  I found great satisfaction and release in dominating others.  I don't regret participating in such a way.  However, now that I have no physical outlet for such aggression, I have had to deal with a considerable amount of undirected anger.  I  love my music.  I do not want my music to be a source of future anger and regret--EVER.
   
  If you want to get into a "who's is bigger" contest, let's put away the mics, and roll out the mats!
   
  Will 
   

 				
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