[Harp-L] harp envy ;-)

[Michael Easton <diachrome@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

I don't know about the rest of you that play "sideman" in a band but  
I found I get a raw deal when it comes to space on stage. Or so I  
thought:-)

The drummer always gets center stage with the bassist beside him.  
Both guitarists sing so they pick their spot in order to be spotlighted.
The keyboard player needs plenty of space for his keys, bench and  
rig.   That leaves the last spot if any for the harp player, me!

I don't know how it is for those of you that are "sidemen/woman" in a  
band but sometimes it has it's good and bad moments. Especially when  
it comes to
being a harp player in a 6 piece band. At first I was quietly annoyed  
about the situation because my band mates would laugh at where they  
stuck me off stage.  That has all changed the past couple of gigs.

Example bar #1: Nice upscale lounge but no stage for the band. The  
available playing area was cut off by the  entrance to the woman's  
rest room and an indoor waterfall opposite that. The back wall is  
divided by the entrance to the restroom which cuts the "stage" area  
in half.  I was one of the first ones there to set up.  25 minutes  
later I get moved across the other side of the stage area separated  
from the band by a path leading to the woman's restroom.   Throughout  
the night the lovely ladies ignored my band mates while smiling at me  
when they came and went. I was also the one they came to with song  
requests. I acted like I couldn't hear their request so they had to  
put their face closer to mine.   If she was walking toward me while I  
soloed I played a little raunchier as she passed.  It was all in  
good  fun watching my band mates watch me entertain the ladies while  
they were being ignored.

Example bar #2:  This past friday we played our usually monthly gig  
at this one neighborhood bar, Chicks. (While that is the owners name  
it also describes who hangs there).   The stage is about 6 inches off  
the floor and big enough for only 5 players so I get assigned to the  
floor beside the stage, my amp and me in front of a videogame. The  
spot lights were pointed toward the guys on stage. I was left in the  
dark. I thought I got a raw deal until the women started coming up to  
dance.  Since the dance floor is small it doesn't take much to fill  
it.  Well, these 3 blonde cuties in their early 20's come up to me  
while we are playing and ask me if my wife is there because they  
didn't want to get beat up for what they were about to do. I said no,  
but she is Puerto Rican/Sicilian  and has a serious temper so they  
were lucky she decided not to come that night.

They then proceeded to ungulate, er dance in front of me very, very  
close.  The first one in a very short demin mini skirt went first  
showing me how low to the floor she could go while dancing. Pretty  
darn low I might add.  the  middle one then rubbed  her hands from my  
chest down to my ankles and back up  while I soloed on the tune  
Killing Floor.  The 3rd blonde in jeans and a light blue silk top  
then started rubbing her chest up and down my forearm while I was  
playing.  I kept looking up at my band mates who were looking down at  
me like a deer in the headlights. They were in shock to see what had  
transpired.  I thought it was only a fluke but then the first dancer  
in the short demin skirt came up later and gave me a personal dance  
while I soloed for her.  (This was not a strip club and these were  
not hookers). The lower she got to the floor  the slower and lower I  
bent the reed on the 2 draw during my solo.   When she hit bottom I  
hit a 2 draw bend vibrato and held it.  She was about 2 feet from my  
amp so she got the full effect of the deep bass bend vibrato and  
started to laugh real hard. I don't think I need to explain the  
physics of how sound vibrates off objects it hits but she sure got a  
lesson in it.

Later, during the 3rd set,  2 other hot blondes started dancing for  
me while I was playing. One rubbing her hand across the side of my  
face down to my neck.  My head was about to explode from all the  
attention.  Then a ravishing  brunette dripping in sex appeal with  
big hazel eyes and full lips started dancing for me. First with her  
back facing me and head cocked sideways looking over her shoulder,  
then she turned around and swayed like a King Cobra ready to strike.   
All less then 2 feet from me. I was a puddle of sweat at that point.   
One of my best nights of playing ever because the only thing I could  
do was entertain those entertaining me.

 Most of the guys were watching football, shooting pool or hanging  
their own woman.  I ended up entertaining the rest.  I think we  
played 1 1/2 hours for the second set.  All my band mates could talk  
about during break was the attention I was getting off stage. The  
keyboard player said he would switch with me next time but I told him  
only if he gave me $200.

I was surprised at the end of the night to find 3 of the woman were  
there with their dates. We exchanged good nights and I thanked them  
for coming to the gig. The blonde in demin gave me an inviting smile  
as she walked off with her boyfriend. It all ended in good clean fun  
but damn, that is one night I'll remember for a long long time. Too  
bad Bill Hines didn't show up  to verify my story.  Hey Bill, ask KJ  
or Mitch about it.:)    Every word of it is true.

mike