Or you could make up some dark gooey solution with a fancy name ending in the word "Tonic", immediately followed by a caption "Cures all that ails ya'll." - then paint up a horse drawn wagon in garish colours & slogans and trail around the states to pitching your sales, and selling your pitch.
Michael Peloquin http://www.globerecords.com/cgi-bin/db/search.cgi?specific=itemno&phrase=GLO-025