----- I suck, I tell you, I suck. ------

[BEERE_MARK@xxxxxxxxxx]

Harpers, through good and bad I've enjoyed your advice and stories, now I need
both from you in the hopes that you raise me from the depths of despair.  You
see, last Friday night I was minding my own business at one of San Francisco's
finer establishments.  There was a band there, mediocre to very good covers of
modern rock stuff (BHTM etc.).  So I happened to have four harps with me ;) and
I went to them during a break and asked if they ever used a harp player.  The
lead singer practically leapt out of the boots saying he'd love to have me in,
loved the harp, and that "Dude, you're on next set."  Be careful what you wish
for I guess.  So he calls me up during a blues number.  I walk up, grab the
SM-58, cup it to a Golden Melody and begin to draw.  And what do you think
emerges but a not-so-golden melody at all.  Like high-pitched feedback.  And
because I didn't have a monitor going through the PA I could only use the
audience's reaction as a monitor.  And let me tell you it ain't no fun to be on
stage and see half the audience trying to get ear wax outta both ears.
Really took the wind out of my sails, not to mention my lungs.  So the whole
while we're playing on, lead singer's doing his best to adjust my levels, and
I still can't hear what the hell I'm playing.  All in all, I'd say I walked
off stage with my tail between my butt cheeks.  And for most of the next day my
stomach was in knots.  Man, I can't believe how much that hurt.  And then I
leave the place and play with this free-spirited (homeless) guy on guitar
Elvis' Hound Dog.  And it was great.  He offered to give *ME* a buck.  But it
wasn't much consolation.
                          Don't you hate it when this happens?     - Mark