Re: Worst gig

Hi everyone,

	   Worst gig, there have been so many, [sigh].

 One I did many years ago in a night club was weird.
 I and my "followers" who had come to support me turned up at the club at
 8 pm. prompt as requested.

 All I had to do was tune an acoustic gtr. "When do I go on"? I ask.
 "Not yet, later". I was told.

 By 9:30 pm. We were all bored and went to find some food.
 Back at 10 pm. "Do I go on yet"?

 11:30 ish all my "fans" had go for the last train home.

 12:30 pm. "Can I go on yet"?
 Me: "Why ask me to come at 8 pm then"?  "Its a waste of my time, I could 
 have done another gig before this one if I'd know".

 "We like artists to be early" (!) {sigh}

 Just after 1 pm. "O.K. your on" Phew! 
 The stage is about 6 or 7 feet high, in line with a control booth.
 I worked out later, it was to stop the loonies getting on it. 
 After the first song, I say to the conrol room, "There seems to be rather
 a lot of reverb on, its just a metalic ringing sound down here".
 Them: "Don't you like it"? "We think its great". 
 Under my breath I'm muttering ,"No bloody taste, this is a folk music gig".

 15 mins. later, in walk the police and drag out a guy who was quietly
 sat on the floor in front of me. 

 At that moment, a tramp or wino  who had been asleep across a table,
 had come to life. He was was decoding his tea all over the floor in
 front of me. I wonered if it was a comment of some sort.
 I'm trying very hard not to add to it. The smell was just vile from 
 where I was, no one cleared it up.

 I'm trying be this time to make small (very small, I felt a bit wierd
 now) jokes about all this fun in front of me. Well what else could I do?
 I felt justified after all. 

 But the manager is calling me and waving his arms from off stage and
 going, "Shusss, don't say anything, be quite, get on with the gig". I 'm
 thinking, "f%^^(*"$&*g swines, its going to be a long night, I can just
 tell". And all the time this *HUGE* wash of muddy reverb is going on.
 I could not pick out most of the words I *spoke* , never mind sung.

 I never went back, and told my agent he could get someone else for the
 nightclub gigs from now on, or I was leaving him. 

 Then the time I went to see a friend who played C&W do a gig.
 I never understood it, he seemed such a nice guy apart from that.

 At half time, he askes me to do a couple or three jazz guitar bits
 for him, as a guest. He gives me an embarrasingly nice intro, and off I go
 into something like "Jeepers Creepers", whatever.

 Mid way into the second number,  a GREAT deal of booing and cries of
 "Rubbish". And "Get him off, bring the bastard over here, I'll give
 him f******g jazz alright".

 I'm really scared by now, and glad my buddy is a *big* hard man.
 He's more upset than me, telling me how good it was and all that stuff.
 I leave VERY fast. 

 I was upset for a few days after, it stopped me playing for a week. [sigh]

 And the time in an Irish club, where the steward walked on stage mid song on
 *three* occassions, grabbed the mic and made stupid announcements about
 the Ladies Captian having just arrived in the next room, and that the raffle
 was going to be drawn next door in five mins. 


 They said the were not going to pay the whole fee to me as I forgot my
 words on three occassions. It happened that my agent was there that night.
 He got the money after a HUGE row. And told them they were blacklisted,
 and he was passing the word round.

 Then you get the gig where the whole roomful is right behind you, and
 you feel you could do ANYTHING and they would follow you.
 You *know* why you do gigs, when you get a night like that.


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